Hello Everyone, it’s time to do this again! Are you a poet? Do you enjoy writing poems until your heart is sore or until it soars? I’ve held a poetry contest once before and I absolutely adored it! It was a blast and I got to meet tons of amazing poets and bloggers. For my […]

via End of Summer POETRY CONTEST — KaylaAnn

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Waiting

An old poem I found from my time in undergrad…

 

 

Waiting

The workload is overbearing now

…time…

it’s ticking and i can feel the pull of

seasonal change

Focus

I cannot

My mind is an endless sea

swirling through shades

of intertwining colors

 

Shapes of Summer

Smells of the heat

gusts of wind

freedom flowing through my fingertips

The bright sun is heavy on my eyes

 

The warm embrace of the flowers’ whispers

The sweet kiss of silver sunlight

The echo of laughter

Bouncing between the trees

 

I must focus now

And not get too carried away

For what approaches now

Are deadlines and more stress

Constant back and forth

Traveling with a heavy tote

Filled with books and papers

 

I flutter with this load

Hair askew

Sniffing the air around me

Constantly alert of the day and of the hour

 

I reach for my metro card

Swipe and enter

Always the same

Where are you, summer?

 

 

 

Dreaming Depravity

Oh dearest one

How I hold you in my heart

What have I done

For you to tear me apart?

My mind plummets down

to the depths of the ocean

The deepest winter crown

Down I fall again

I can recall the days

You held me in your arms

I can feel the lusty haze

That gave us much alarm

I remember the droplets of sweat

Falling down from your skull

All those thoughts of regret

Brought our haste to a deathly lull

My tongue searches for you

She can taste you again

She can feel your skin anew

A little piece of heaven

These dreams fill my heart at night

Mixing my brain with clouded reality

For in my mind I know it isn’t right

These memories I’ve made up in such wretched depravity

Ariana J

8/6/18

The Journey

Every thought In my mind

That soon bears life

And is scrawled upon paper

Is toxic

Every written word

Every completed sentence

Feels like a confession to the gods

Judgment and fear

Silence and loss

Each inhale is a chokehold

The air fills with soot and smoke

A fog fills the clearing

Causing me to lose footing

Down I go

Into the abyss of terror-

GOOD MORNING

Good Morning to you!

Good morning and thanks for dropping in. I had abandoned this blog yet again to try to focus on making IG my form of photo blog. But I realized that sometimes words can sculpt an idea or image or concept more so than a photograph. So, here we are again. Please forgive me.

Jumping right in

I’d like to talk about nannying or babysitting.

I am finally finding my way. Go figure – a Bronx girl finding her way in the big city . Who would have thought? But a bit late I might add. But who’s looking? Lmao

I am over my Aesthetics career .There is something so horrible about the style of work and the long hours and Shit pay that takes away from the beauty of helping people or making them feel pretty. It’s def something I’d like to continue on my own time- but not as a career. I lost myself and had no time for my own life. I’m taking my life back and kicking this depression and anxiety out! It’s time.

So I applied to Graduate school and received a Grant, for which I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

You may be wondering where the babysitting and nannying comes in..

Well, I work part time at a museum. I am unable to get more hours and I figure babysitting would be a great off the books way of getting extra cash while I work PG and attend Graduate School. Sounds good, right?

..Right?

Well- here’s the thing.

I’ve only ever babysat a handful of times

As a matter of fact, I never cared for kids up until a few years ago when I taught art to young students at an after school and summer program. Then one day, I babysat my BF’s boss’ kids. And tutored them in art. And I fell in love. Immediately and completely . It was like a hammer whacked my heart and I exploded into a hundred loving pieces.

And then I started to wonder.

About this type of job- it becomes more than a job. It becomes a love affair- an almost maternal job- for someone else’s child. Can I do it? Would I do it? Does it differ from nanny to babysitter?

What is it like to be the one a family too busy needs to depend on for the welfare of their chid[ren]? What is it like to be this child’s life force- their survival guide, their foster parent, their teacher , their tutor and their friend?

What happens if you become their number one and the parents hate you for it? So many questions and so many trials .

I received an offer to babysit my old boss’ toddler . He will grow up with me at his side. I would be considered family to him, if I stay. I am excited and nervous . I am in wonder at this concept. It’s truly an interesting idea- leaving your child in the hands of another simply because society doesn’t let parents stay with their children while paid.

I am excited more than anything.

I finally am intrigued by kids -probably since I am older now and more understanding. Oh how I used to loathe children- but I think it had more to do with fear- and the parenting. Or lack thereof… will I be raising someone else’s child ? I will be! ..but will I do a good job??

A Moon Bath With Mars

I sit beneath the darkness

And it covers me like a blanket

The stars falling back into the abyss

Each one teasing me to take it

I find comfort laying in the meadow

Toes curled to feel the Earth

Gazing up at her, I know,

Her silver light is my rebirth.

As she sprays her rays of silvery mist

Like a shadow unto my soul

My mind goes numb, my skin is kissed-

And the moon bathing begins to take its toll.

Beneath her light I find meaning

Of who we are and what we represent

On my body, her silvery smoke streaming,

As I lay thinking of contempt.

Moonlight breathes life back into my heart.

And sends me up into the night,

Swirling around with the stars

Blinded by the silver light

Colliding then with Mars

He holds me tight

And yells with rage

-oh with all his might!-

He  takes me center stage

and caresses me into the night!

What a strange beast is this man of Mars-

Full of passion and fire –

This love is truly ours

He touches me with full desire.

Oh how the moon bathes us in lust!

And truth erupts, like Vesuvius in Pompeii-

…Shower in her silvery dust

And may your heart be saved.

-Ariana J.-

August 2015

MY MUSIC, CHRISTMAS AND FINALS xoxo

Leave it to me to be the person who doesn’t blog ALL semester but choses the week before finals to write… *sigh* Why I chose to suddenly open this bad boy up and start typing away, you might ask?.. BECAUSE OF MY MUSIC AND CHRISTMAS. And of course… THE HOBBIT: The Battle of the Five Armies comes out in 2 DAYS *squeeee!!!!*’

Life is good aside from final exams haha

SO, my sister and I started decorating our house on the last days of November and let me tell you… THIS HOUSE LOOKS LIKE SANTA’S WORKSHOP! We are elves in disguise. I promise. The tree is up and the gifts are swarmed around it in a sea of red and green . Ahh, the holidays. I can smell the roasted nuts while walking down 59th street. I can picture the snow on the ground in my own neighborhood, untouched by any human feet. I can feel the joy of family and love overwhelm me. I can picture myself relaxing with “A Christmas Story” playing the background, a glass of Cabernet in my mitt, knowing finals are over, and a sweet vacation full of sleep, smiles and music is ahed of me.

Speaking of music, the BF and I already have most of our equipment but are still trying to get our hands on a Triton Extreme Keyboard for less than a thousand. UGH

But I set up a mini studio in my own room last night, and I have all the doodads and goodies ready to go. I am SO excited for this January break.. Why you might ask?… WE ARE GOING TO FINALLY RECORD! YES! I know I haven’t really mentioned, if ever, that we have our own band project going on and that we’ve been saving and purchasing equipment for recording for the past year and a half. BUT IT’S  TRUE. And we have a few songs ready to rock n’ roll! I could almost scream! Happy holidays indeed!

Anyway, that is my Christmas/music blog for now. Let me know how your holidays are going so far! Hugs and kisses !